[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
New Element Discovered
From: "(Miriam Mandelbaum)" <mmandelb@NYPLGATE.NYPL.ORG>
>Subject: New Element Discovered
The following may be of interest to Exlibris subscribers. We do not know the
>source of this information.
>NRC Scientists Discover New Element
>The heaviest element known to science, was recently discovered by physicists
>at the NRC Research Centre. The element, tentatively named administratium,
>has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it
>does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice- neutrons and 11
>assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
>particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the
>continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
>Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
>detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.
>According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium caused a
>reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in
>less than one second.
>Administratium has a normal life of appoximately three years, at which time it
>does not actually decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in which
>assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places.
>Some studies have shown that the atomic weight usually increases after each
>Research at other laboratories indicate that administratium occurs naturally
>in the atmostphere. It tends to concentrate at certin points such as
>government agencies, large corporations, universities, libraries, and the NRC
>and can actually be found in the newest, best maintained buildings.
>Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of
>concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is
>allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how
>administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results
>to date are not promising.
This addendum from
>From: Gabriel Austin <zbb@PANIX.COM>
If only scientists would take a few courses in history they would have
known that administratium was discovered centuries ago. It clusters
around a secretion called "MONEY". Any increase in funds not specifically
protected against administratium will be by it absorbed. The attractive
force seems to be more fundamental than electricity or gravity. It also
works at great distances, and possibly faster than the speed of light.
Cf. the yet unsolved question: "where did the money go?" Often called
"trickle down": emphasis on "trickle", de-emphasis on "down".
Economics was meant to study the question but has thus far failed to
take up the problem. Most economists seem infected by the substance.
| Peter D. Verheyen, Rare Books Conservator, Cornell University Library |
| B-39 Olin Library, Ithaca, NY 14850 |
| <wk> 607/255-2484 Email: email@example.com <fax> 607/255-9346 |