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an appology

Dear fellow bibliophiles and conservators,
        I would like to take this time to appologize for my naivite regarding
certain matters concerning paste and adhesives, and I am somewhat ashamed of
lack of *REAL* knowledge in a field that I want so much to be a part of, and
yet I know that learning is essential.  Therefore may I ask would anyone who
subscribes to this list be willing to be an on-line mentor for the neophite
(even though this neophite is 37) biblian?  And I am serious about this
request, because I am psychologically handicapped (ADD/OCD) -- (umm, Adult
Attention Deficit Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder [mine are what
are known as "pure" obsession as most revolve around thought and the idea
that I am nothing, inadequate and a loser.)  but i digress, for you see, I
sometimes doubt my ability to actually achieve competence in this art when
I am told by my vocational rehabilitation counsellor that I have the
innate capacity to excel but that I somehow have lost faith in myself and
my ability.  Don't worry I am on medication (zoloft) and am seeing a
psychiatrist.  But that helps but is not the reinforcement I really
desire, for I want to do something constructive and loving with my life
and the only real way I see to do that is to be a bookbinder and
conservator.  And you see, yesterday I received the T&H Manual of Book-
binding and I was impressed, awed, and mildly intimidated by what I
saw.  Mr. Johnson really does a thorough job, and I am eager to tuck-in
on reading this book, and trying some of the exercises, but  have to
admit that he is sceptical of PVA adhesives and provides his own recipe
for a paste.  He also seems to believe that PVA's should be "treated"
prior to their use so as to neutralize their decidedly acidic tendency.
It is on this point that I wish to admit that I was a bit rash in my
e-mail re: "paste debates of the recent past" and I would like to say
now that I fully understand and acknowledge the fact that I am an
amateur but that I sincerely do want to learn.  Thank you and I hope
you all will accept me as a member of your community.
Sincerely yours,
Rommel John Miller
A service connected disabled veteran

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