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Last word on Good Times...
- To: Multiple recipients of list BOOK_ARTS-L <BOOK_ARTS-L@LISTSERV.SYR.EDU>
- Subject: Last word on Good Times...
- From: "Peter D. Verheyen" <pdverhey@DREAMSCAPE.COM>
- Date: Tue, 24 Dec 1996 08:20:51 -0500
- Message-Id: <199612241325.FAA12107@SUL-Server-2.Stanford.EDU>
- Sender: "The Book Arts: binding, typography, collecting" <BOOK_ARTS-L@LISTSERV.SYR.EDU>
This is the last time this will EVER be mentioned on this list, by order of
the sysop, me.
Happy Holidays to all.
*** The Goodtimes Email Virus ***
Goodtimes will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but
it will scramble any disks that are even close to your
computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's
thermostat so that all your ice cream melts. It will
demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up
the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to
scratch any CDs you try to play. It will give your
ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-Aid
in your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its
socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming
over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your
good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It
will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour
sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows
while dating your current girlfriend behind your back and
billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card. Such
is the power of Goodtimes: it reaches out beyond the grave
to sully those things we hold most dear.
Goodtimes moves your car randomly around parking lots so you
can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave
libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying
to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch elm disease. It will make a
batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub and then leave
bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist. It cannot do
anything to you. But I can. I am sending this message to
everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family.
If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake
Goodtimes virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I
will do things to them that would make a horse's head in
your bed look like Sunday brunch.
Your network manager.
>>> I love working in the library. <<<
>>There is something to be said for working in a place bound in leather.<<
Peter D. Verheyen <wk> 315.443.9937
Conservation Librarian <fax> 315.443.9510
Syracuse University Library <email> firstname.lastname@example.org
Syracuse University <www> http://www.dreamscape.com/pdverhey
Syracuse, NY 13244 <listmgr> Book_Arts-L@listserv.syr.edu