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Re: Hello, I must be going



You mentioned the VA. Are you by any chance a Vietnam Veteran? If so, do
you know about the web sites where you can get in touch with old buddies
and chat with others who may be afflicted with PTSD. That war was hell for
all the boys caught in it.

My son was a Marine in 1/9, H&S Co, who died at Khe Sanh on March 8, 1968.
I recently had to find out certain things relating to his death and was
steered to the 1/9 Metwork and other web sites. Everyone I contacted was
most helpful and kind.

First, I want to tell you that you that you are not unloved; God loves you
and you are precious in His sight.

Second, please don't give up bookbinding. If the VA won't fund courses in
it, do what I did. Find some simple, good books. Teach yourself,with the
help of all of us on the Book Arts List. Second hand bookstores are a
resource, A good one for starters is Hand Bookbinding by Aldren Watson.
When I started ten years ago, I had no opportunity to go to classes so I
found good books, made some tools and started repairing books at the local
library as a volunteer. Then, when I really needed to get paid, I hung up
my shingle. I don't make a living at it (the VA is right, there) but it
supplements my Social Security.

Perhaps you could find something that the VA would fund education for, or
find anything in the postal service, or something that you could do during
the day, and in the evening follow your bookbinding dream.

I am interested in how everything works out for you. Please let me know.

I care,



At 08:47 PM 7/9/99 -0700, you wrote:
>To all friends,
>
>I am depressed, and I mean very, chronically depressed, and yes I do see
>a shrink and take my medications,
>but nothing seems to be able to dislodge me from this hellish vortex into
>which I am descending, path upon which
>I doubt if I ever will be able to escape.
>
>I am giving up on my dream to become a bookbinder, the VA won't approve
>or fund my study of it, they say that
>I would not be able to support myself if I become a
>bookbinder/conservator.  I hate the VA; I hate myself.
>
>I hate myself for many reasons, but chief among them is being naive and
>vulnerable.  Depression has a way
>of increasing a person's vulnerability.
>
>If anyone could give me a job or paid apprenticeship, I would consider
>taking you up on the offer and telling
>the VA and its myopic vision to take a hike down a long road.
>
>I am seriously contemplating going to law school to be an advocate for
>people like myself who are lonely, depressed
>and eager to become something the world seems to reject, because to
>"them" traditional bookbinding is archaic
>and dead.  To me it is anything but archaic, for I find real beauty in
>watching a signature being sewn onto tapes or
>cords, there is elegance in the movement of the needle and thread and in
>the designs one can create, purely
>artistic designs that no one will ever likely see.
>
>Please tell me how to unsubscribe from this list.  I'd appreciate it.
>
>Rommel John Miller
>failure extraordinary,
>loser
>
>
Betty Storz   storz@mcn.org
Mendocino, CA


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